#3: Diary of a Pale Girl Who is Partial to Black Shirts
March 6, 2012
Panic. A sensation of fear. You begin to be agitated. You can’t think. All reason is gone.
The smoke is starting to get thick. She can’t breathe anymore. Her mind is in shambles. She is on the corridor of the hotel walking towards the fire exit. She is confused, crying. Suddenly, the ceiling collapsed in front of her and flames started to creep in the floor that she was on. She’s trapped. The only way remaining is to go back. To her room she ran as the fire started to engulf everything on the corridor. She locked the door. She’s all alone, and with the knowledge that she’s about to die, she just decided to lay on the bed. As she lay, she thought of her life, and what brought her here to this place. The good and bad times during her 25 years of existence.
She was born to a poor family. The day she was born was the happiest day in her parents lives. When she turned five, her father gave her a rag doll. Her face lit upon receiving that gift. For someone poor, having a toy like that is a luxury. It was the happiest day of her life. On the next day, her father died of a hit and run.
At a young age, she already knew that her life was never going to be the same. Her mother was depressed and took any kind of job just to send her to school. During those times, she saw that her mother was slowly slipping away from her, the life in her eyes were slowly turning cold.
One time when she was twelve, she was walking to get home when a van stopped. The van was full of drunk college students. They gagged and took her with them to an abandoned building. That’s when life, and the monsters, took her innocence away from her. They left her, beaten, bruised and broken. Her efforts of pleading to her mother that they should go to the police was unheard. Later did she know that the men who raped her came from rich families and paid her mother to keep her mouth shut. That’s when the girl decided to run away from her mother. She took some money that she was saving and went to the city.
Upon arriving, she immediately looked for jobs, but no one would accept a twelve year old. That’s when the couple saw her. They asked why a young girl like her is looking for a job. She told them her story. After hearing it, the couple offered her a job as a maid on their house. The girl immediately said yes, and stayed with them. For six years, all went well, until one night, the man entered her room. He reeked of alcohol. She asked the man what he was doing on her room. The man just stood there and maliciously stared at her. That’s when it happened again. She was kicking and screaming but was overpowered by the man. After that night, the couple paid her, obviously afraid of a scandal, and threw her out of the house.
Walking around the metro, she met a girl about her age and asked if she wanted a job. “What kind of job?” she asked the girl. She told her that she was pretty and would make a lot of money. She took the girl’s hand and went with her. She took the girl’s hand knowing that she has lost all hope in mankind. Thinking that they are only going to take advantage of her. During that day, her faith, her hope, died.
As she lay on the bed alone, she thought of every thing, every memory. Her mother, the monsters, the couple, the girl, and her father. Her father, her fifth birthday, those were the memories that she kept playing over and over her head. She knows it ends for her today. She wants to die with a happy memory and a smile on her face. I knew that. As I extended my hand to her, I told her not to panic. All of these are temporary. Every thing you have felt will never come back to haunt you. There will be no monsters. Nobody will ever hurt you again. All will be well. Every thing will be all right. As she reached for my hand, she smiled and closed her eyes, as the flames started to engulf the room, her beautiful face and peaceful smile slowly turned to dust.
